Laila Arain & Stephany Hessler | How'd You Do It & Why Should I Care?

Laila Arain: 0:00

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the next episode of the Bay Street Capital Holdings podcast titled, How'd You Do It& Why Should I Care? This series aims to highlight women doing amazing work in various industries. So today we are so lucky to be joined by Stephany Hessler, who is a Mindset and Performance coach, at Stephany Hessler Coaching. Hi, Stephany, lovely to have you on the show.

Stephany Hessler: 0:44

Hi, Laila, great to be here with you. I'm so honored to be your guest today.

Laila Arain: 0:48

So I'm so happy that you're here. So let's first start off with a quick introduction about who you are, and perhaps and answer the main question of the podcast, which is how to do it and why should I care.

Stephany Hessler: 0:58

Sure, yes. So thank you for the kind introduction. I'm a Mindset and Performance coach and I help high achieving corporate leaders, and business owners who are tired of playing too small, too rapidly advance their career, and really create a vision that others want to follow without sacrificing the life they dream of. And, you know, I started my career in the investment business like you, I went to University of Pennsylvania for my MBA. But I'll tell you, the reason people really need to care about this is because I have, first of all, I've coached hundreds of people over the years. And every year, I have hundreds of conversations with high achieving individuals who went to schools like University of Pennsylvania, who have had a certain level of success, but no, they can be doing better. So that's why people should care, because everybody can be doing better.

Laila Arain: 1:58

That's also and that's such an interesting concept. So that leads me on to ask you, what inspires you to sort of create your own company? Because you're obviously as definitely has the coaching, which is named after you. So I'm curious, what inspired you to become an entrepreneur?

Stephany Hessler: 2:14

Yeah, that's a really great question. Because I started my career in the corporate world, I grew up in very much of a business family. Also, my father was an executive with a big multinational company. But I always had a yearning to be self employed. I've always been on the creative side. And I like, you know, honestly, I don't like other people telling me what to do. So having that level of freedom and independence was one of the really important reasons that I became an entrepreneur. But maybe also to answer your question a little bit that you know, why, why I'm doing what I'm doing, is because I went through a really hard time, about 20 years ago. And it helped me to realize, or I have to, I should say, it woke me up to realize that even though I went to great schools, I had a fantastic education, some of the most important things in life, we don't learn, right, we don't learn about success.

Laila Arain: 3:14

Yeah. And yeah, following on from that, you brought up an interesting point. Obviously, we're not taught things about success in school and in college. So I'm curious as to what were the best resources for you that helped you along in your journey? Because now you're teaching people about these concepts?

Stephany Hessler: 3:28

Yes. Yep. Yeah. So as I was mentioning, about 20 years ago, I went through a really, really hard time in my personal life. And it kind of went on for a few years. And one of the things I finally realized was that I had to take 100% responsibility for myself, I had to stop playing a victim in any way. And so I started tapping into exactly what you're asking me about these amazing resources. I started studying with some teachers, really famous teachers, authors past and present. Participating in coaching programs, I studied spirituality, world religions, I devoured personal achievement information, all while I was still working in, in the corporate world. And of course, in today's world, we have just amazing teachers who are on on YouTube, for example. Right. So So I've availed myself of all kinds of wonderful teachers in the personal growth industry.

Laila Arain: 4:33

That's really awesome. And I'm glad that you have access to those resources. And it seems like you're pretty much quite a go getter, you somebody who you know, forges their own path. So I'm curious as to whether any lessons that you should have known before starting your own company and, you know, becoming self employed.

Stephany Hessler: 4:50

Yeah, I would say I think the number one lesson Laila that I wish I had known, was, um, What an incredible tool social media is for growing your business. And, you know, you're you're, I'm guessing you're a little bit younger than I am, you've probably grown up in that world of social media. I didn't grow up in that world, right, I've had to learn it. And I've been very open to learning it. But when I started my business, going back now, seven years ago, in coaching, I did it mostly in person, like in person events. And that worked fine for me, I built a good solid foundation. But then when COVID came along, it forced me it absolutely forced me to move my entire business online. And now that I'm online, I realized how many more people you can reach and the power of social media. So that's the number one thing I wish I had known.

Laila Arain: 5:50

Definitely. And I'm so glad that you've sort of grasped that now, because in a post COVID era, I definitely think that social media will remain to be a very important platform to sort of reach people at. Absolutely, yes. Great to hear. And, obviously, you know, there's a stigma associated with being an entrepreneur in the sense that it's a very risky role, you know, you could fail multiple times. I'm just curious, thinking about the span of your career, what would you say was your biggest failure? And what did you learn from it?

Stephany Hessler: 6:18

Well, I think, you know, that's a really, really great question. And I guess if I think back in my, in my life, you know, I, I had some failures in my, what I might call failures in my 20s, and 30s. And what they were were were choices and decisions that I made that were based on fear. Right. And what I learned was that that's never a good way to make decisions is to make decisions based on fear or what other people think you should be doing versus what's right for me, right, or for really coming from a place of confidence and being well thought out. But what I understand now, Leila, and I don't know if you're familiar with the book, it's called PSYCHO CYBERNETICS by the medical Dr. Maxwell Maltz. It's one of the best books out there in the world on how the mind works and the power of the mind. And one of the things he says is that we basically fail our way to success. Life is a continual course correction process. Right? So I mean, I could spend a week telling you about all the failures I've had in the last seven years building my business, right, but I just don't look at it that way anymore. I know that it's negative feedback. That just reminds me how to keep moving in the right direction, right to get back on course,

Laila Arain: 7:42

that's a really positive way to look at it as a learning opportunity rather than a failure. And I'm glad that you know, that distinction quite early on in your career. Yes, yes, that's great. And following on from that, you've been sort of dropping really great pieces of advice throughout our whole conversation. But what is one piece of advice that you would give somebody who's wanting to pursue a career similar to yours?

Stephany Hessler: 8:04

Gosh, so I guess the the number one piece of advice that I would give to someone based on my experience, is to partner with an organization for your training, that is really going to be a partner in terms of not only the the mental things, the intellectual knowledge you need to learn, because, you know, I think a lot of people enter the mindset world, and they think, Oh, I've had a certain level of success. So therefore, I can be a mindset coach. But there are a lot of levels of depth to mindset, what exactly mindset is, and then teaching it. So that would be the one thing to to really make sure that you're partnering with an organization that is going to teach you in depth. And that will also be a partner to you as you build your business. Because otherwise, I think being an entrepreneur can be a lonely journey.

Laila Arain: 9:01

Definitely. And, finally, about your career, we've been talking about, you know, the concept, the concept of being a entrepreneur and what the public thinks about it in our conversation, but what is one common myth about being an entrepreneur that you would like to debunk right here right now?

Stephany Hessler: 9:18

Oh, well, I guess that that the, the most common myth that I would wanted to debunk is that, you know, especially on the coaching end, being because as an entrepreneur, generally speaking, you are, you know, an independent entrepreneur, even if you're affiliated with an organization the way I am, I'm still an independent entrepreneur. So just because you have an idea, doesn't mean that and it could be a brilliant idea doesn't mean that people are going to start coming at you, right? You've really got to build the business and make sure you've got the right people. The right customer. For support the right systems that you know, finances the capital. So it's and building a business truly is a marathon. It truly is a marathon. It's not a sprint.

Laila Arain: 10:13

Definitely. And that's something to keep in mind. Because I think we're constantly surrounded by the idea that, you know, entrepreneurs, they start a company and then suddenly they're unicorns or suddenly they've IPO. And it's happened so quickly, but you don't see the hard work that's going on behind the company. Yes, exactly. And I'm sure you're really busy at the moment, obviously, with your coaching. But I'm curious as to what's one thing that you've read or listened to recently, this really inspired you.

Stephany Hessler: 10:39

Actually, one, one book that I've been reading, believe it or not, every day for the last eight months, and I read it with one of my colleagues, she and I read together every day. And this is something that we learned from from Bob Proctor. He's the individual who owns the business that I've trained with the Procter Gallagher Institute. And the book is called The Science of Getting Rich. I don't know if you're familiar with that book. It's by a guy named Wallace Wattles. It was written in the 1900s. And it's the book that inspired Rhonda Byrne to produce the documentary, The Secret, which is one of the most successful personal growth documentaries ever. And that was actually the movie that really, really piqued my interest about personal growth. So what I love about this book, The Science of Getting Rich is that he really reminds us that there are so many invisible forces in play in life, right? I mean, we tend to think that the world is this physical material world. But actually, there's so much more right that we are part of, of a greater power of an invisible intelligence, right, whatever you want to call it, if you want to call it God, or universal mind or infinite intelligence. And that this intelligence is a lie. It is, it is a living, pulsating force. And that we as humans, as people are the highest form of creation here on Earth, we have amazing powers. In our mind, we have higher faculties like imagination, right? And it's so inspiring, because you really teach us some, some vital concepts. But it's that that key idea that we are powerful, and that we are part of this far, far, far greater intelligence,

Laila Arain: 12:30

this interesting book. What's that? That seems like such an interesting book.

Stephany Hessler: 12:35

It's wonderful, I highly recommend it.

Laila Arain: 12:38

Let's check it out. And you touched on this a little earlier about, you know, you're having your network there for you. And just like the power of having really great relationships, especially as an entrepreneur, because you mentioned it can be lonely, but I'm curious as to who are three people in your life who have been the most influential to you?

Stephany Hessler: 12:54

Yes, yes. Well, I hope it's okay. If I if I kind of throw my parents into one person. Oh, cool. Yeah. They were married for 60 years. But I would say definitely the first two people who who are the first of the three are my parents, because they just inspired me in so many ways. And both my parents came from fairly humble backgrounds. My father's from a small town outside of Hamburg, Germany, my mother's from a small town outside of Phoenix, Arizona, and they met in the Philippines. And my father was opening an office for an international company, my mother was a flight attendant for, for panamerican. And together, my parents lived in nine different countries. Wow. And my brothers and sister and I lived in many of these countries with them and traveled and were exposed to so many cultures and languages and people. So I feel like my parents absolutely just opened me up to the richness of of the world. Right. So definitely, number one were my parents. Number two, I would say was, is the personal growth teacher, Louise Hay. She passed away a few years ago. But she really really was a key person in my life, even though I confess I have never met her in person. But I've listened to her so many 1000s of times, probably on YouTube. And he really helped me when I was going through that difficult time that I was telling you about. Because he helped me to realize that we experience life through our minds and through our thinking. Right and just I learned so many important things about her from her about the power of our thinking, our beliefs and our subconscious mind. And then the third one is my my teacher, Bob Proctor. So Bob is, as I mentioned, he's the chairman of the Procter Gallagher Institute, the company that I'm affiliated with. And Bob is one of the best teachers out in the world today on the subject of personal achievement. And I've been, I've trained with him Many times in person I, I, you know, continue to train with him. And I have learned so much from him. He is such a skilled and experienced teacher in personal growth. And for example, he's also a superb public speaker. So I've learned so much about public speaking from him. So very grateful. Also to him, I would say those are the top three

Laila Arain: 15:24

people and such a great, it's a good tonight, you're surrounded by such great people. And then finally, to round off our conversation for the day, what is one piece of advice that you wish you gave yourself at any point in your life?

Stephany Hessler: 15:37

You know, I would say that it's, it's a it's a phrase that I learned from Louise Hay. And it's really simple. And it's this all is well, everything is happening for your higher good. You know, that because one of the things I know when I was younger, I think I had a lot of angst and anxiety and was I doing this right and that right? And what if this and that just in this constantly over analyzing overthinking. And I see that a lot honestly, with with high achieving, you know, well educated people, this overthinking things, a lot of tension, overwhelm, and if we can all just relax and you know, realize that we are we are spiritual beings having a human experience. We're here for a short time. There's purpose to our lives, there's so much meaning and significance in life. And let's just chill a little more and, and trust trust the process of life.

Laila Arain: 16:40

of life. And sometimes the smallest things can really bother you. But at the end of the day is all about the bigger picture. And as mentioned, just trusting the process. Yes. Well, yeah. What a wonderful note to end on. So thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me today. It was truly engulfing sensation.

Stephany Hessler: 17:03

Thank you. I really appreciate your time. Thank you.